Let No Child Pay for an Adult’s Mistake

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 Yesterday, while spending time with friends, I noticed something in Tamara that shook me to the core. Surrounded by other children with both of their parents—especially present, caring fathers—Tamara became quiet, emotionally unsettled. I know that look. It’s a mix of longing, sadness, and confusion. She wants what she sees around her: a father who cares.


Tamara is strong-willed. She’s full of life, determination, and emotion. And within that strength is a very human, very innocent desire—to be cared for the way she sees other children being cared for. She wants a father. Not just in name, but in presence, in action, in love. And I see how painful it is for her to witness what she’s missing.


It breaks me inside. Because no child should have to feel that way. No child deserves to suffer from the consequences of adult mistakes. None. It’s not the child’s fault who brought them into the world or who failed them. Every child deserves a father who is at least kind and stable—if not the best, then at least fine.


But mine have a man who did not live up to that role. Not in presence, not in behavior, not even in absence. I carry deep guilt for having brought this person into their lives. And yet, what hurts most is not what he did to me, but what his existence continues to mean for Tamara and Nicolas. It’s so profoundly unfair.


I find myself asking over and over—why should my children carry the weight of someone else’s failures? Why do some kids get to grow up feeling safe, supported, loved by both parents, while others are left trying to make sense of someone who brings only confusion and hurt?


I’m not okay with this. I’m not okay with how deeply adult choices can wound innocent souls. And so, I beg—honestly, I beg—the Lord to protect all children from such injustice. To protect children from the pain that isn’t theirs to carry.


Tamara now wishes for someone to fill that role in her life. And I struggle. How can I find someone trustworthy? How can I open my heart again without risking theirs? I fear making another mistake. But I know I must try. Because these kids deserve more. They deserve everything good I can give them.


So I move forward—uncertain, scared, but committed. I’m searching for the right path, the right strategy, the healthiest way to raise Tamara and Nicolas into happy, whole, emotionally safe people. They didn’t ask for this life—but I will do everything I can to make sure they grow up strong, loved, and protected!



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