When Justice Turns a Blind Eye

 

A Mother’s Fight Across European Courts

As I sit in silence, trying to make sense of the chain of events that has shaped my life and my children’s future, I find myself asking: How can this still happen today—in Europe, among French-speaking neighbor countries—where we can send robots to Mars and access information to it, but justice cannot find its way through interconnected court systems?

I am not writing this to place blame on fate. I am trying to understand. To learn. To prevent such tragedies from repeating—whether in my own life or in the lives of my children.

How is it possible that one man, through a consistent pattern of manipulation, control, and abuse, can inflict harm across multiple families, and yet the justice system remains fragmented, blindfolded, and sometimes complicit? Civil courts lack access to criminal records; child protection agencies remain unaware of key decisions. The left eye doesn’t know what the right one is seing.

Sometimes it feels like more than bureaucracy. It feels deliberate. Not in the sense of government conspiracy, but in the subtle yet powerful politics of legal inertia—individual choices, protection of reputations, and outdated frameworks that force victims into absurd realities.

A Timeline of Powerlessness

When I escaped from the family home with my two babies—Nicolas was just six months old, Tamara barely 18 months—I couldn’t even speak the local language. I had no access to my own mobile operator account, my insurance, or even basic information about how the system worked. Like many domestic violence victims, I was fully under his control.

The first court hearing changed everything—and yet, it changed nothing. A female judge told me I would not find work in Switzerland because my degree as an “engineer physicist” was too specialized. She left my NEX in the family home and sent me and the children out to find accommodation, knowing full well my lack of language skills, resources, and income made that nearly impossible. Moreover , left me without a solution with babies in hands. Video calls between father and kids were ordered every third day, without considering their age.

At the appellation court, I was screamed at for not securing housing—while he stayed put, without accountability. I was ordered to facilitate roughly three 20-minute calls per week with the babies. And the absurdities only escalated.

At one point, a court allowed him visitation rights during the weekend, without knowing his location. His girlfriend claimed he had dignity and slept in his car because he had no place to sleep.

In 2023, I was threatened with punishment for failing to follow a 2021 decision—already revoked by a 2022 ruling. Later on, the same judge who ultimately terminated all visitation rights, citing clear professional evidence and a request from child protection services, had previously upheld those rights. Meanwhile, child protection authorities themselves opened a criminal case against him for mistreatment of the children.

While the criminal court continues its investigation, the same judge reauthorized visitation. And I am left again to prepare for hearings, for accusations, for re-traumatization for something that is simulated and fake.

The Criminal Record and the System’s Inaction

He has already been convicted of slander, defamation, negligence of children, and sentenced to nine months in prison, with probation as well for nine months and moreover, oversight for three years. Authorities are aware of his history in Belgium, where he lost parental authority and was also condemned for neglect.

Despite this, both the tribunal d’arrondissement and tribunal cantonal declared him no longer obligated to pay child support, even as the court recognizes he falsely claimed bankruptcy—while fathering six children, including two more babies in France.

He continues to flood the system with fabricated documents, lies, and distorted narratives. And I—now physically and emotionally exhausted—stand in courtrooms as a permanent defendant, treated by prosecutors and his legal team as if I were the threat and the real criminal.

After years of psychological torture, I have become the secondary victim—punished not only by my marriage with the NEX, but by the very system designed to protect.

What Now?

What happens next? What is the solution when even clear criminal sentences, documented negligence, and professional evaluations are not enough?

There is no solution under the current law.

Until legislative change occurs, and until national and cross-border systems within Europe, both EU/nonEU member states, are fully integrated, many more will fall victim to systemic injustice.

I still want to believe that justice does not choose sides on purpose. I don’t want to think it’s a discrimination and a racism. 

But I no longer wonder about the abuser’s behavior. After studying the psychology of his personality type, I see it clearly.

What remains a mystery—and a tragedy—is the behavior of justice itself.